Ménage à Trois
by nikkiRA
Summary: Oneshot, SamLirael & NickLirael/ They’re both getting angry now. “I can never have her!” Sam shouts at his friend, eyes brimming with water. Nick regards him coolly.


When he walks into the room, all he can do is stare.

He's sure there are worse things that you could walk into. But at the moment, he can't think of any. His wife- yes, that's definitely Lirael, and that's, no, it couldn't be. Because he would never do that to him. Not Sam. He's his best friend. And that's his wife. That's his best friend and his wife.

_That's his best friend and his wife._

Sam and Lirael are not kissing. He supposes that's probably something he should be happy about, but in all honesty he wishes they were. People can kiss and not feel anything. People can kiss just to kiss.

But _this... _this isn't something you can do for the sake of it.

Sam is... holding her. Or she is holding Sam. He can't tell, they're both so tightly entangled. They're not doing much of anything, just... watching. They're watching out the window. Sam has his face in her hair, his breath causing the strands to flutter. Nick can only imagine what he's saying. Lirael is smiling. She rolls her head back onto Sam's shoulder and laughs and he presses his lips to her forehead.

It's the embrace of lovers.

They're both too enthralled in each other to notice Nick, so he makes himself known.

"Am I interrupting something?"

The two spring apart so quickly Nick can't help but wonder if they've rehearsed it. Sam springs up and stares at his best friend with a look of- is that _pity? - _on his face. Lirael hides behind her hair.

"Nick-"

He holds up his hand, cutting Sam off. He doesn't want to hear him speak. He turns towards Lirael.

"Well?"

She looks up, her eyes brimming. "Nick, please-"

He turns around and storms out of the room. She runs after him.

---

When Lirael enters their room, he's leaning, one hand against the wall, the other on his waist. His head is bowed. Lirael advances towards him.

"Nick..."

"Stop."

She does. She doesn't think she can disobey his voice. It's rough and hoarse and filled with pain. Her heart breaks.

There is silence for a long time. This is somehow worse than anything he could say. Lirael shakes with stifled sobs.

"Please Nick," she begs. "Say something."

He turns towards her, and at the sight of the tears running down his face she cries harder.

"Do you love him?" Is all he says, and she knows it's useless to lie.

"Yes," she whispers, and he closes his eyes, as if simply hearing these words cause him more pain.

"Do you love me?"

She rushes at him, hands reaching out to touch his cheek. He leans into her hand, tears pooling around her fingers.

"Yes. Yes, I love you. Of course I love you."

She tries to kiss him, but he turns away. His eyes bore into hers, burning.

"Do you love me more?"

The tears come harder.

"Yes."

It's a feeble lie, but he believes it anyway. He grasps onto it as if it were pulling him to safety, gripping it and holding it close like it's the only thing he has left. She steps into his embrace, pressing her tear stained face against his collarbone, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"I'm so sorry, Nick."

He presses his lips to hers, trying to still her apologies. She can't tell whose tears are whose, now.

He pulls away, turns.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be back."

"Nick-"

"I'll be back," he repeats, and as he leaves she whispers her thought, and she hates herself thoroughly for it.

"Please don't hurt him."

---

Sam is standing in the same place, staring at the spot where he and Lirael had been sitting. When Nick comes in, he looks up eagerly.

"Nick-"

Nick gives him a look that immediately shuts him up. Sam seems to shrink back into himself.

"How could you?" He tries to sound mean, menacing. Tries to scare the man in front of him. But it only comes out sounding feeble and weak, betraying just how hurt he is as he stares at his best friend.

"Nick, I am... truly, truly sorry."

"She's... she's my wife."

Sam nods sadly. "I know."

"Why?" Nick feels as if he is about to start crying again, and he fights back tears.

"I love her," is Sam's whispered reply.

"And I don't?!" Nick says angrily.

"I never," he pauses, sighs. "I never said that, Nick."

Nick shakes his head. "Do you have any idea what it was like for me? Seeing you two like that? Seeing the woman I love more than anything, my _wife,_ in _your _arms?!"

"Of course I do!" Sam shoots back. "That's what I have to put up with everyday. Every time I see you two. Whenever I see you touch her, or kiss her, and I know that I will never be able to love her like you do. Lirael loves you. Don't, for one second, think that she doesn't."

"She loves you more!"

They're both getting angry now. "I can never have her!" Sam shouts at his friend, eyes brimming with water. Nick regards him coolly.

"Yes, well, that didn't seem to stop you."

---

That night, he makes love to her harder than he ever has before, pretending that it's his face she sees. The next morning, they all eat breakfast together, listening to Ellimere chatter- Lirael's eyes are red, and she determinedly avoids Sam's eye, keeping close to Nick and not saying a word.

Looking from his best friend to his wife, Nick can't honestly decide if he would rather be in Sam's position, or his.


End file.
